Phase I complete

Surgery to remove my left breast went well. I woke up
in a haze in recovery babbling about how I felt I got hit my a mac truck and that I felt like I did 600 push-ups....The ramblings of a person waking up from anesthesia can be incredibly entertaining or downright annoying. i was praying that I was the entertaining kind. I begged my recovery nurse to tell me: Did I moan and cry incessantly?"
"No, you did great."
(2 minutes later....)
"Did I moan and cry incessantly?"

Repetitive questioning is relatively common while your nervous system comes back to life.
My recovery nurse was an angel. She anticipated my needs before I knew I needed them. Narcotic medications and anesthesia have a nasty side effect of dry mouth. You wake up feeling like you've been sucking on a rock. The amount of moisture in your mouth is relatively close to that of the Sahara Desert. Your lips stick to your teeth and gums and you are unable to expectorate any saliva. It's torturous. My nurse used these sponge swabs on a stick to moisten my mouth between my cheek and gums. It was pure heaven. It was like getting a really good foot massage. It felt so good. I could have had her do that all day. Because I was so dopy, I

couldn't rely on my own hand to actually find my face. I probably would have stuck that swab in my nose or eyeball a few times before hitting my mouth. I was thankful that my nurse already knew that relying on me to do this for myself was not going to serve anyone.

We are avid Pirates of the Caribbean movie fans. My kids have seen them all and we watch them over and over at home. It's got something for everyone: Orlando Bloom and Johnny Depp for me, Keira Knightley for my husband, and a lot of inappropriate behavior and innuendo for my two young children.....We know all the lines and sing the songs while we dress up and eat popcorn every Friday night. It's a bit of a ritual and the whole Pirate thing rings true with us. Once my vital signs were stable and I was no longer babbling incessantly, it was time to go to my hospital room. Having been a nurse working in the cath lab, I was able to wear one of my surgical hats for my surgery. My particular favorite is a pink scrub hat with the Jolly Roger all over it. I call it my "Pirates for Breast Cancer" hat. At some point, I believe my husband referred to my hospital bed as a ship. Probably because as I was waking up, I was getting demanding.... Of course every ship needs a captain and I was captain of my hospital bed. As my nurse is rolling me down the hospital corridor I took advantage of this moment to call attention to myself by exclaiming, "Hoist the Colors!". Apparently, this drew a few laughs. Happy to know I'm one of those entertaining people when I'm drugged up. Repetitive, demanding and entertaining, I survived the surgical removal of my left breast. The pain was nothing like having my hip replaced or knee surgery. This was easy. I was so happy. The majority of my cancer was gone and while one little node remains, I am feeling more at ease. Phase I complete.