Live it Up

Tonight, we are packing up to do our last trip of the summer. I will be naked for the next 4 days in the Oregon wilderness. Seriously. Miles from nowhere, I will be rowing down the river with nothing but my lifejacket. Looking forward to feeling liberated and alive. Why?
Today, we got another look at that little growth on my left ovary that caused me all kinds of drama last month and sent me into an emotional tizzy. That 5cm endometrioma has decreased in size to 3cm and the cyst on my right ovary is 2.1cm. Neither one of these fluid-filled masses has the size nor strength to take me down and once again, I am winning. I'm still not sure why my interior is at war with growing tissues. Its truly a war zone as my immune system finds crazy things to fight. I'm trying to give it all the help it needs by sleeping, drinking water, eating my vegetables and steering myself away from any unnecessary stressful events. This translates to being on vacation most of the summer of 2015. This will be our second river trip. I went to Park City twice, had my 30th High School reunion, visited San Diego and Las Vegas and spent a week on a houseboat on Lake Powell making new friends and learning about religion. Short answer: It's not bad. In fact, some really cool people and kids are religious. Who knew? You'd think I might have figured this out growing up in a state like Utah. As we all know, we choose to learn only when we want to.
This summer has been amazing in terms of my own personal growth. So many great times with my husband and kids. I reconnected with a whole slew of people I knew from high school and realized that maybe I'm not doing so badly in this life. I made some amazing new friends that I look forward to adding to my life adventures and harvested a myriad of ideas of what to put on my bucket list and what I want to be when I grow up. I am happy. My life is worth living. I realized on the houseboat trip that one of the driving forces behind my reaching out and going on crazy adventures is that I want everyone I love to be proud of the person I have become. It stems from the fact that each person has made a contribution to the person I am. I'm sort of like a mutual fund of experiences. I want to be worthy of those gifts. I want to earn all the goodness that has been given to me and my family and I want to share whatever good comes of my life with anyone who's strong enough to stand it. Chalk it up to some serious Daddy issues or Survivorship but I want to express my gratitude by being happy and sharing it.
So, what better way to show that off then to rid myself of my clothes, and any other fetterments and sink myself into a river canyon. This is the place where I feel most alive. It will be the perfect end to the perfect summer and the jumping off point for the rest of my life. I am glad I don't have cancer today, that the growth on my ovary is decreasing in size and I have one more year before I get my five-year chip. More love to come.