Livin on a Prayer

"We gotta hold on, to what we've got. It doesn't make a difference if we make it or not. We've got each other, and that's a lot for love. We'll give it a shot. Ooooh, we're half way there. Ooooh-oh livin on a prayer. Take my hand, we'll make it I swear. Ooooh-oh livin on a prayer."  ~Bon Jovi

Fifty. What's the big deal? 50 trips around the sun, 50 jellybeans in a jar, 50 stitches after breaking a leg. 50's nifty and I have to say, I'm getting so tired of everyone complaining about how 50 is bearing down on them or how they don't do certain things anymore now that they're "50." Really? It's a number. Traditionally, age 50 signified a slowing down, an obvious milestone that dictated that you were aging and unable to do anything. The operative word in this paragraph is "traditionally." Traditionally, the expected lifespan was 73. Now it's somewhere in the 80's and projected to increase because we realize we can't just sit in a chair and chain smoke away a gazillion NFL Sundays. The jig is up. Research shows that lifestyle changes such as exercise, healthy eating and avoiding addictions of any kind such as smoking, heroine, and that nasty McDonald's habit, can actually make you feel better about the life you are actually living. A joyful life equates to seeking positive experiences that make us happy, and happiness is what keeps us youthful. 50 means were only halfway there.
I've been in the healthcare and fitness industry one way or another for my entire life. As a nurse, I can tell from looking at you that you're a smoker, a diabetic, a heart patient, a depressive, or  a prisoner of mediocrity. It's in your skin, your shape, your hair, your eyes, your smile (or lack thereof). It's in your communication pattern, your life choices and your social isolation v. active community involvement. What is interesting is there are so many resources out there telling us how to live longer, live better, and be happy, but no one really identifies happiness as the ultimate goal. That's really up to us. I suppose our parents have an influence but at some point, we all have to suck it up and be grown-ups and decide that we want to be happy and not miserable. Instead, we've been taught to be rich, be thin, be stunningly gorgeous, to drive a car of status, to live in a big, ostentatious house. We are taught to make our mark on the world, be famous, be amazing, learn to waterski, snow ski, hang glide, fly an airplane, because if we learn and do these things, we will feel good about ourselves. Okay, I buy that somewhat but, is being happy and feeling good about ourselves the same thing? Not in my book. I think jumping out of a perfectly good airplane and relying on a paper thin piece of material to save my life is grossly idiotic and irresponsible. Who ever thought this was a good idea? "But it's such a thrill!" Well yeah, if you survive. It's one thing if that's what you pursue in life and it drives you but so many are rampantly jumping out of airplanes, looking for that thing that makes them happy. It makes them happy for the amount of time it takes to reach terminal velocity and drift back to Earth. Then it's back to their miserable job, their abusive spouse, and their crappy life.
Don't get me wrong. New and exciting experiences are the vehicle to get us to the happy place. I am guilty of this on a daily basis. I'm a kayaker, a climber, a skier, a martial artist, and a mt. biker. All of these things sort of feed my soul so I can get to my happy place but happiness is in the way we live. It's in the choices we make everyday. I've noticed that many of my friends are re-evaluating this happiness, and I'm witnessing interesting behavior everywhere. Some are going off to "find themselves." Some are looking into new and exciting ways to live their life. Some are getting divorced, finding that "special someone" after a lifetime of loneliness, and others are simply choosing to be alone. There are also friends who are engaging in their children's lives, celebrating grandchildren and making positive changes.
Despite all of this, I still see a melancholiness about crossing the fifty line, and I find it unnecessary. Research has shown us that the way we live our lives dictates what fifty will look and feel like. How you live today, affects how you will feel 10 years from now. I used to think being an athlete was a healthy practice. Come to find out,  I have worn out my body, my bones, my joints, and my cells over time and running my body into the ground is actually not a healthy practice. However, giving up and halting the practice of movement completely accelerates the damage as well. I am constantly grappling with how much exercise is enough and how much is too much. The good news is we know no amount of smoking, drinking alcohol, doing drugs or eating sugar and processed foods is ever good for you. That said, all of us should be disengaging from these behaviors and consequently, end up healthier. "50 is the new 40!" and other colloquialisms are actual possibilities. It's all about lifestyle and behavior choices.
I will be 49 in 8 weeks. I can't wait to be 50. I am so excited to cross that finish line because it means I have endured youth. I have survived my mistakes of my past, I have gutted through illness and I've gained a whole lot of wisdom. My body will deteriorate and my mind will start to let things slip. This is already in motion. However, I'm still bubbling up to the top, sharing my life with my kids and those I love at every level. I'm not afraid of anything (largely because I have wasted my adrenals completely) and I don't care what small-minded people think of me. I stand on my principles. I hold those close to me, close to me and to a higher standard which they meet. My bucket list is re-filled to meet the desires of a 50 year-old woman and not that of a child. I'm ready for 50 and everything after because I am going to do it better than anyone else.