Drive

I've been doing a lot of driving this summer. My kids have reached the magical age where they both have their own electronics and set of headphones and can finally refrain from the constant bickering for hours while they watch movies, text friends, and surf the internet via satellite. After 13 years of "Mom, Mom, Mom, are we there yet? Mom! I have to pee," I can don my own headphones, crank the Def Leppard and drive very far away from the tedium of  3 soccer practices a week, 5 meals a day, 6 loads of laundry, and the constant battle of who's turn it is to take out the garbage. I love driving. It parallels ski racing. Where else can you drive 90 miles per hour, initiate and take turns until the car tips just right or get all four wheels off the ground..... (wait, maybe not that last one.)? Then, there's the passing game.  How many cars can you pass before you have to change lanes to pass the truck in the right lane? And how big is the gap between those two cars and can I squeeze into it without pissing anybody off? I love the drive from California to Utah. The speed limit is 80mph which means I can technically go 90 without going to jail, at least I think. I have been looking for more opportunities to make this drive which can be anything from visiting a friend in the hospital to a summer concert series being held at Deer Valley. Effectively, I call it the "Pro Leisure Tour" where I stay with friends, find cool stuff for my kids to do and make sure they get to hang out with all of my friends' kids. My motives are ulterior. If they bond with my friends' kids, then I get more trips to Utah. I love my hometown.
However, I've lived in California for 21 years. I used to be a Utah girl but after my last trip, it is painfully obvious that I am officially a California girl. I'm not a native but I have assimilated. On my last trip, I realized that my Utah-isms don't come as automatically. Instead, of "Oh my heck!" I now say, "O-M-G," and I have lost all understanding of the liquor laws and the times the State store is open ( I used to know these by heart). Of course, this could be related to the fact that I no longer drink alcohol and I'm not properly motivated. But I digress.... Another obvious sign that I am no longer a Utah girl is I get a lot of stink eye by the Utah drivers, but I'll get to that.
If you are not sure of the difference between Utah and California, just get a in a car. I swear the difference is immediately discoverable upon crossing the state line. Suddenly, everyone slows down about 20 miles per hour and moves into the left lane, except the truckers who stay in the right lane. This requires some slalom skills because you have to weave back and forth between cars and lanes to pass. Again, this speaks to my slalom skiing soul although most people don't like it as I weave left and right to pass. They decrease the distance between themselves and the car in front of them so that I am forced to wait for a more appropriate gap OR "wiggle" in the small space forcing them to increase that distance. This is not popular. Hence the stink eye.  I try to be respectful unless they insist on blocking and then it's on. I can't be held responsible for my competitive nature. It's instinct at this point, homegrown in Utah and bastardized by 21 years in California. The problem, up to now, is that I have insisted on believing that I am a Utah girl, it's my State and y'all need to mellow out in solidarity. Sadly, this is no longer the case. I am now a visitor. A guest in someone else's house, and traditional etiquette requires that I respect the house I am in and thus, my gracious hosts. It makes road wars much harder to win especially with California plates on my car. Go home California....I used to say this myself, back when I was a Utah girl.
The other huge difference between a Utah driver and a California driver is the use of a turn signal. Okay, this one just makes me crazy, because not only is it a problem on the road, it parallels the nature of the culture. THIS is what delineates the difference between me and my former home state. Utah drivers are poor communicators. I can make the same argument for a few former Utah boyfriends but I'll save that for another post. Nobody uses their turn signal. Seriously? I don't care if you wanna wiggle in between me and the bumper 5 feet from mine, just tell me. I'll back off and let you in (because I wanna be a good guest in your state) but if I don't know you're coming over, I can't be as accommodating. No disrespect, but I'm focused. I'm waiting for my moment to move over and pass the idiot  driving 20 mph below the speed limit in the fast lane trying to pass a truck that thinks it's funny to speed up just enough so that both lanes are blocked for an indefinite time. (I'm convinced truckers have a field day with drivers from all states.) I am not looking sideways and I rarely see my peripheral until it's almost too late which creates all kinds of drama and scares the hell out of everyone. A blinking light gets my attention well, and these days they put that flashing light on your external rear view mirror, your tail light, your front parking light etc. If you don't turn it on, it doesn't work as well, nor does it allow me the opportunity to display my good nature and express respect for you despite the fact I can't possibly figure out how your system works. With no designation between the left and right lanes (which one is the fast lane again?), one must weave which requires MORE use of the indicator light and yet, it is rarely used. I suppose there's a different message like "slow down, you're in Utah," or "You'll get there when you get there. It's in God's hands now." Knowing this, I keep my frustration to a minimum. I go to my happy place which usually requires a Bon Jovi soundtrack or an 80's playlist inspired by teenage memories of being a Utah girl. No longer.
I recently drove from Northern California to San Diego. When I got to L.A., I felt completely at home. The speed of travel of lanes increased proportionately from right to left where slow people drove in the right lane and maniacs drove in the left lane. If you really want to mix things up, try the carpool lane. It's a mish-mash of different drivers although it favors the maniacal. Traffic flows and weaves and people use their turn signals and everyone drives 10-20 mph over the speed limit. Competition is pretty even and respect is widely practiced save one or two outliers. I love California driving. It's challenging and the rules are fairly clear. I never thought I would ever assimilate into a California driver. It used to seem crazy to me. Now it seems like "home."
Perfect for a California girl like myself.